Today I wished I had super powers–I'm talking powers that could maybe cause pain. I’m talking something that would send an electric shock or searing pain through someone, or shoot disinegrating gamma rays their way. Whatever it took to MAKE them do something they didn’t want to do or to make them sorry for what they did. Let me explain.


I was walking up Broadway listening to Pandora and I saw in the distance a big bulky guy in a white wife beater, white tennis shoes, and white sweat pants. He was wearing gold-rimmed sunglasses and had really short blondish brown hair and was very muscular. He had two big and sturdy-looking dogs on leashes. I couldn’t really tell what breed they were but one was busy taking a crap in the middle of the sidewalk while this dumb ass owner casually watched. 


I started asking myself ‘Is he going to walk off? No he’s not going to leave it. It’s right in the middle of the sidewalk.’ There was just something about the guy’s attitude that made me think that he would leave it there. And I was right. The dog finished and they just started walking away. An older lady coming from the other way down Broadway started yelling at him. I had my ears still plugged in so I couldn’t hear the exact exchange. I just saw her yelling and him turning to look at her with his big dumb face and then shrugging his shoulders and walking away. 


Though I was farther away I yelled after him ‘What a Jerk!’ Feeling only slightly better after my outburst, I turned and went into the 99cent store to pick up the bottle of vinegar I had come for. 


Coming out of the store a few minutes later, I turned to look at the offending pile of shit and saw this little boy about two or three walking towards it and then—right through it! As the little boy walked past me, I looked down at his blue tennis shoes and saw the front of one of them covered in dog shit!


Gawd-did that make my blood boil. I just thought of how that little boy could end up putting his fingers in it or getting it on the bus seat as he crawled up onto it or who knows what all.


I was so angry that if that guy would have been anywhere around, I would have run up to him and started crazily yelling at him. I figured if he shot me, I’d have gone down for a noble cause. Sadly, he was no where to be seen and I had to walk home stewing in my own juices instead.


I so wished I had super powers so I could have zapped that jerk as he walked away–and kept zapping him until he cleaned up his dog’s mess. I would have felt so much better.

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